Wednesday’s Wisdom…

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Ohhhhhhh one of my favorite things to do on Wednesday night is to sit back and enjoy a good thought or two. Thinking is good for us! It keeps our brain from deteriorating, for sure, but it also allows the Holy Spirit to speak to us!!

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Last night, I was thinking aloud with Mr Gorgeous, and he brought up a subject that is on our "taboo" list. Now, let me fill you in on Mr Gorgeous. Yes, he's gorgeous, but he also is a deep thinker. (Are you still wondering about this "taboo" list??? Just trying to keep you on the edge of your seat!) One of the qualities I adore about Mr Gorgeous is that he thinks about the BIG picture. He will think through things he says before he says them to ensure that it will not negatively affect those around him. It took me 10 years to get him to yell at me in a fight!! *and he wasn't even yelling AT me!!* Keep that in mind as I set the stage with a little background story to set up the "taboo" list!

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 {from Karah Fredricks' Too Excited for Sleep}

When Mr Gorgeous and I got  engaged, we did what any beautifully-in-love couple would do when they get engaged: we went to the local Macy's and started to look at dishes!! Now, Mr Gorgeous and I did not have china counseling before our marriage, just marriage counseling!! LOL!! Little did we know that china would become one of the stickiest subjects in our whole marriage!!

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We walked into the china section of Macy's looking at "everyday-ware". Now, we weren't actually registering at that moment. We were just looking in advance so we'd be ready when the time actually came to register. We came to the Johnson Brothers' section. There were wonderful patterns all around. And I found the perfect pattern that i {adored}. Summer Chintz.

We both agreed it was perfect, and we promptly left Macy's! On our way out, my darling mother wrote down the name of that pattern on a little scrap of paper and put it somewhere in her purse. 

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A week later, we found ourselves in a Dillards with Mr Gorgeous' sweet mom and sister. I was all excited to show them the pattern we had picked out!! We found it in the china section, and immediately, Mr Gorgeous exclaimed…"that is not the patterned we picked out!! It was white with only red on it!!" I insisted that it was, indeed, the pattern we picked out!! and this was the beginning of the Summer Chintz war…well, it wasn't really a war. 

Since we are both highly competitive, and neither of us would give in, I made Mr Gorgeous find a phone with me in Dillards (remember, we are old…no cell phones!!) to call my lovely mom who had that little slip of paper with the name on it. You see, before we looked for the phone, we found a sales rep who told us about another pattern called "Rose Chintz" which was white with a red flower pattern. So Mr Gorgeous was convinced from that moment on that we had picked out Rose Chintz. 

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So we called mom…mom confirmed that, yes, we did indeed pick….

Summer Chintz!

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And then came the part that most of us would think was funny…just playing…just a joke. But every time Mr Gorgeous was "wrong" about something, the words "SUMMER CHINTZ" were spoken! After 15 years of marriage, we discovered that every time i said those words, a little part of him died. Now, he may not describe it like that, but there was another side to that. There was a reaction that Mr Gorgeous would unconsciously have…a cutting use of words that was not usual for him. The crazy cycle continuing! 

It was a blessing for us to figure out (through many tears on my part, and a wonderful communicative spirit on his…) that what we were doing every time we cut each other down with hurtful reminders was NOT healthy!! We didn't know words like Crazy Cycle, or God's mandate to wives to respect their husbands, or whatever!!! But we did know we needed to stop reminding each other of our failures!!

Fast forward to last night…Mr Gorgeous and I were remembering Summer Chintz in an analytical way…and he said, "I swear I remember that plate as having only red on it!" So, I responded with the hypothesis that a Rose Chintz plate and a Summer Chintz plate were sitting next to each other, and I was looking at the Summer Chintz and he was looking at the Rose Chintz, and we both liked what we saw and "agreed" on them!

He said, "that is just like the pink and blue hearing aids! I see something totally different than you because I'm a guy!"

Yup, we continue to learn…even in the hurtful experiences!! 

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Btw, I did have his permission to post this story, because in the last five years I have not mentioned the words Summer Chintz at all! 🙂 That Crazy Cycle can be broken!! 🙂

For more information on the Crazy Cycle or learning how to respect your husband, or love your wife, go and see the LOVE AND RESPECT BLOG

{some pics above from Stock.xchange photo site, the Dillard's registry, and other sites selling this fine china! I am also obliged to explain that the red china pictured above is actually Old British Castles by Johnson Brothers, not Rose Chintz…we all remember differently sometimes…as long as we can communicate in love, we're doing okay!!}

And remember, I'm here for you…to talk, chat, answer questions, pray with you for your marriage, or whatever you need!! :) 

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  1. Reply

    Awesome Blog post, Love it and totally agree!

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